LOOK AT JUST HOW INAPPROPRIATELY HAPPY ARIADOS. IT’S BECAUSE I’M SUCH A KIND AND LOVING TRAINER AND FATHER.
I’VE EVEN TRAINED ARIADOS TO ABDUCT NEW BORN CHILDREN FROM HOSPITALS SO I CAN GIVE THEM A REAL RAISING.
WAIT I HAVEN’T SEEN ANY OF THOSE KIDS FOR WEEKS. SHIT.
I REMEMBER WHEN WE DID JANINE’S IMMUNISATIONS, THIS WAS JUST A BOOSTER MIND YOU, HAD THE MAJORITY DONE WHEN SHE TURNED TWO.
IT’S NEITHER HAMMER TIME NOR IS IT TIME TO KICK IT, IT’S TIME TO GATHER ROUND THE FIRE AND SHUT THE FUCK UP, KOGA AND SURGE GONNA TELL YOU ABOUT THE TIME WE BLEW SHIT UP AND NAILED A CERTAIN BISONICAN.
SO ME AND SURGE WERE SUNNING IT OUTSIDE DIGLETT CAVE SCIENCING SOME DUGTRIO AND SEEING WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SEPERATE THEM (IT’S KIND OF LIKE THAT SCENE AT THE END OF INDIANA JONES BUT IN SLOW MOTION, FUCKING HILARIOUS), THEN HAD TENTACRUEL FLOOD THAT SHIT. ON OUR BACK INTO TOWN WE PASSED SOME GUY AND HIS PHONE STARTED RINGING, NATURALLY I SLIT HIS THROAT AND SURGE CAUGHT THE PHONE AS IT FELL.
“Surge, Koga, I knew my patriot seeking phone call wouldn’t fail me. This is Captain America.”
“IT’S GOOD TO HEAR FROM A TRUE MAN, SUP CAPTAIN.”
“I’m here with Iron Man and we have a bit of a situation, Bison is on the loose and has created a major base of operations in Thailand. We need him dealt with right now Lieutenant, but Hulks on his period or something and we don’t know who else we can trust.
“READ YOU LOUD AND CLEAR RED WHITE AND BLUE, OVER AND OUT” SO WE GAVE A SALUTE BEFORE SURGE HURLED THE PHONE AT SOME ACE TRAINERS FACE, KNOCKING OUT A PLEASANT THIRTY TEETH, WE BROFISTED THE OCCASION AND STARTED SURFING THE DEATHMOBILE AWAY INTO THE SKY.
YEAH FUCK YOUR SHIT BLUE
HOW DO YOU LIKE MY POKÉMON CLOTHES/WEAPONS? I’M COVERED IN POKÉMON AND IT ISN’T ENOUGH. YOU SHOULD SEE MY HOUSE; LOOKS LIKE AN EPISODE OF THE FUCKING FLINTSTONES. ONLY A NINJA KNOWS HOW TO TIE A GOLBAT TO HIS WRIST.
TIME FOR VENONAT’S TRAINING. I SIT HERE AND TIME HIM WHILE HE RUNS OFF TO POISON THE LOCAL ORPHANAGE’S WATER SUPPLY. BONUS POINTS FOR EVERY POKÉCENTER POWER CUT HE CAUSES ON THE WAY BACK
LONG STORY SHORT; YOUR KIDS ARE LIMP DICKED FAGGOTS WHO SHOULD HAVE CAUSED YOU TO COMMIT SUICIDE OVER THEIR CRUSHING DISAPPOINTMENT YEARS AGO.
ROARK?!?! SPENDS TOO MUCH TIME IN MAN-TUNNELS.
BARRY?!!? SERIOUSLY WHERE DO I START WITH THIS KID.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ALL ABOUT. JANINE CAN BREATHE POISON AND BREAK AN AGGRONS BACK WITH HER BARE HANDS, YOU ARE TERRIBLE PARENTS.
IT’S COOL SWALOT IS A BRO WHO CAN DEAL WITH A BODY PROBLEM. I’M PRETTY SURE THAT KID WAS STILL ALIVE WHEN HE STARTED DISSOLVING HIM, BUT YOU CAN’T KNOCK EAGERNESS. LOOK HOW ARCEUS DAMN FUCKING UGUU HE IS, YOU COULD ALMOST FORGET HE SWALLOWS PEOPLE WHOLE FOR FUN.
I PASSED HIM MY SWORD AND KNELT DOWN NEXT TO HIM, TELLING HIM ALL HE COULD HOPE TO ACHIEVE WITH HIS LIFE NOW WAS TO DISEMBOWEL HIMSELF HONOURABLY. HE LOOKED UP AND NODDED THROUGH TEARY EYES, AT LEAST HE UNDERSTOOD.
BUT THE FAGGOT’S MAKING A TERRIBLE JOB OF IT. HIS GURGLING SCREAMS ARE STARTING TO DISTRACT ME FROM THIS COPY OF THE ‘DAILY KANTO’ HOW ELSE AM I SUPPOSE TO FIND OUT ABOUT BLAINE’S PAEDOPHILLIC WAYS?
OH AND SOMEONE BETTER COME CLEAN THAT SHIT UP.
NOTHING BETTER THAN SITTING ON AN INVISIBLE CHAIR, DRINKING INVISIBLE BEERS AND WATCHING LITTLE KIDS BREAK THEIR NOSES BY RUNNING INTO THEM.
I’M SURE LANCE WONT MIND IF INSTALL SOME INVISIBLE BEAR TRAPS AND FAKE FLOORS AROUND THE LEAGUE BUILDING.
GOT TO TAKE ANOTHER SNORLAX TO ROUTE 12 AS WELL.
